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It was nearly five o'clock when I eventually reached Uncle Guy's shop in Soho, called Bijou Ephemera. Its garishly-illuminated shop window featured all manner of bric-a-brac: antique jewellery, old china, leather-bound railway almanacs, split-crotch panties, mildly erotic Edwardian postcards and some very naughty Aubrey Beardsley prints. Lettered across the shop window was the boast: 'London's Premier TV Centre', although I never recall seeing a single television set for sale in that shop. Along the back wall of this jumbled window display was a trio of tailors' dummies dressed in ornate Victorian corsets. The doorbell clanged as I entered the musty interior and Uncle Guy appeared from a back room. His broad smile showed that he was obviously pleased to see me as I handed over the envelope. "I'll close up now, Tim, and we'll go through to the back parlor." His after-shave smelled remarkably like an expensive French perfume my mother sometimes wore.The shop's back room was cozy and. That was fine until the moment my bowels suddenly decided, after a bout of nervous constipation, that they also needed to discard whatever was in there. After I’d finished; the big problem I now faced was how do I clean my bum. After many valiant attempts I finally succumbed to the inevitable and shouted, “Mum, I need some help.” It took about thirty seconds before a concerned voice was heard on the other side of the door, “You ok!” “No,” I replied. “I can’t wipe my bum.” Having spoken the bathroom door opened and in she strolled. Obviously seeing my problem she spoke, “Stand up.” Hearing this I did exactly as instructed. While reaching for some tissue she said, “Now lean forward and put your legs slightly apart.” I did as I was told and as she began to clean up the mess my face came into contact with her heaving bosom. Smelling the beautiful perfume of her body I could now stare straight down the front of her dress; and as I did instantly saw the butterfly. “There,” smiled.
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