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The devil whispered to me, “I’m coming for you.”I whispered back, “Bring pizza.”Me: (sobbing my heart out, eyes were swollen, nose red) ... I can’t see you anymore.I am not going to let you hurt me like this again!Trainer: It was a sit up. You did one sit up.Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave the house.It’s weird being the same age as old people.Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.Chocolate is God’s way of telling us he likes us a little bit chubby.It’s probably my age that tricks people into thinking I’m an adult.Marriage Counselor: Your wife says you never buy her flowers. Is that true?Him: To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers.Never sing in the shower! Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping, and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked. So, remember ... Don’t sing!My wife asked me to take her to one of those restaurants where they make the food right in front of you. So, I took her. Apparently we were far enough away from the center of the riot to escape the worst of the turmoil, but Atrina was very happy to see all of the excitement. She had a great time, but for those of us in the bodyguard detail, it was just another day on the job. At least, I was able to talk her out of trying to get closer to the action!Once things settled down, we made our way home, and Atrina jabbered all the way about how much fun she'd had on this outing. She carried on about how grateful she was that I let her out of the house to join us on this little excursion. Atrina showed why she was so loved by her bodyguard when she insisted on thanking each one, individually, for the way he had succeeded in protecting her in a trying situation. Little human touches like this went a long way to cementing the loyalty of her bodyguards, any one of whom would have gladly laid down his life to protect Atrina from harm.When the time finally came for the trip to the slave auction, every man of the.
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