Daddy had been screaming and Mommy was screaming to Daddy towake up. Urina had wanted to help but she wasn't allowed out of her roomat night and, besides, she wasn't allowed to speak.Why am I thinking like this? I'm an adult. Just because I'm treated likea child doesn't mean I am one. But it's not as simple as that, is it?Urina could feel that it had gone too far. Days passed when she neverthought of her life as Joan, when she never thought of Bianca ParagonCrown as not as her mother, thought of her HUSBAND. Oren.Why am I so proud when Daddy ... I mean, Victor, compliments me? Why do Ineed his approval? And why am I so accepting of Oren as a she-male? Whathappened to me at the Training School? I should be revolted when Bianca.. I mean, Oren, touches me. Why do I get so excited when she does?Urina couldn't help it. She always thought of Bianca as more femininethan male now, and most times it seemed that Bianca really was hermother. It was still hard to remember what had happened after. My sisters were resentful and, often, downright hateful. During my week packing up Pam's belongings, I was within 35 miles of my hometown – and the town where my sisters still lived – and I never once considered driving across (or even picking up the phone).But Lauren and Lauren were buddies. The older girl seemed to always be willing to make time and the younger one seemed to understand there were times she wore out her welcome. Our family movie nights would always find the two girls side by side on the couch, a bowl of popcorn to share. Invariably, by the time the movie ended, the younger girl's head would replace the popcorn on the older girl's lap and they both would be snoozing away. I probably have 30 pictures of the two of them that way on my computer.The only part of my life that wasn't running smoothly was my relationship with Elizabeth. I don't know if the revelations had shaken my faith in her or if I just didn't believe she could be so blind to what was going on around.
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