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I saw Sara as a woman every man. A woman that was a desire to any man who wanted her. She was strong and in charge of herself and her sexuality.I was a coquette and this allowed me to move in this world as free as I wanted. I would live my life as her and her alone and explore it and the men that lived in it. I wanted to be always Sara.The breakup with Steve was hard. It was devastating. It devoured my soul and I will never imagine how it affected him other than what pain I felt was minimal to his. Even years later, I still see his tears. I still feel our last embrace and our last kiss.I took the months following to not only heal but to make hard decisions. This included making the decision to be full time. I no longer had a need to keep any remnants of John. He was never the person I was all those years. When I wasn't dressed as Sara, I was sad. I was alone.I found a doctor and started my hormones. I quit my job and found a place that actually had better pay and closer to my home.. After my days work I was back in hotel at about 8:00pm and instead of going up to my room, I decide to have dinner in there dining hall and then go to my room so that I can retire for the day. Fortunately or unfortunately, there was no table free and I was trying to see who may get up soon. I noticed that a woman about 28-30 was eating alone in a table and was looking at me, probably just a casual look while seating and eating. I stood there for about 2 minutes and asked the waiter thee also to help me find a table. I still noticed that woman watching and eating. Somehow, I just smiled walked across and said that if she does not mind can I share the table as she seems alone. She also smiled and said yes. There was no talk after this for few minutes while she now started concentrating on the food she was eating and I ordered what I wanted to eat. As it was getting a bit awkward, I broke the ice by introducing myself and said thanks for allowing me to share the table. She also then.
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