Nothing could seem to bring him down, and healways saw the glass as half full. On the other hand, I always focused onthe cloud inside the silver lining. Nothing ever really brought me joy,and I didn't only see the glass as half empty, I saw that it was about tobreak and make a mess.I guess Calvin got his idea when his computer broke down. He had a majorproposal to write so I let him use mine. Evidently he looked through myinternet history and saw that I visited those places. Websites and blogsand Facebook pages and twitter accounts all full of the same fantasy. Ofmen getting changed into women. Like my mood, my fantasies tended to bedark. Men were kidnapped and forcibly changed. They were coerced andkidnapped and blackmailed and humiliated. They cried out for help andfought against this forced transformation. None of these stories endedhappily ever after... they generally ended on some cliffhanger that leftme shivering.Calvin took the best of the caps and stories and. Brenda and Emily had both first attracted me to them by their looks, and by their interest in me and their physical appeal to me. I was more interested in how their looks appealed to me, than in any of the things they actually said and did. Brenda's early behavior had turned me against her. I had decided, on several occasions, that she and I were through, and that she was forever out of my life. Somehow, she was always able to find her way back into my life though. It was her looks that had made this possible.Later on, it was still her looks, but it was also the way she added to the relationships I enjoyed with the other wives. Most notably, this was with Emily, but it was also present in adding to my relationship with Joyce. After she had my children, I knew that we'd always be connected. I stopped fighting against it.I had found a role for Brenda, one that suited her, and justified, in my mind at least, my making allowances for her past behavior with me. Joyce was happier having.
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