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"Why not?" I asked."Because you don't know me - the real me. And you know nothing about me." I know all I need to know" I said, "You are bright, fun to be with, and I feel empty when I'm not around you."She looked at me and shook her head, "Look! I like you. I like you a lot and I like spending time with you, but can't we just keep it as friends?"I was crushed, but I was also a very determined guy and this was the girl I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.I kept after JoAnne and finally after about six months she said, "I'll tell you what. You ask your brother and your cousin Jack if they think that your marrying me is a good idea and then come back and see if you still want me to say yes." Why do I have to ask them? That doesn't make any sense to me." Humor me" she said.And so I went to see Jack. I told him what was going on and he said, "Why in the world would you want to marry her?"I explained how she was my soul mate, how I felt empty when she wasn't around and so on. Jack. There were lots of costlytoiletries, but none were obviously feminine. I rifled hisbathroom drawers for a Tampax, but there was none: there was nosign of a resident girlfriend.By the time I emerged from the bathroom I felt a little better.Unfortunately, the bed was empty. That meant there would be nostealthy escape from this scene: Prince Charming was up andabout. Then I noticed the aroma of sizzling bacon and eggswafting through the room. My pompous debaucher was cookingbreakfast: an awkward interlude was impending.I decided to get into the scenario. I called out a cheery "Goodmorning," and stepped into the kitchen, modestly draped in a bedsheet."That smells fantastic," I lied. I really prefer fruit andyogurt to a traditional starch- and fat-laden breakfast. "Do youhave anything else I can wear?" Wow, you look like something out of one of my dreams," Alecsaid. "Draped around you, that sheet looks like the gown of afairytale princess." Until I trip on it and break my neck. How about.
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