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The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, "I can't understand how you can be so much bigger than me.We're the same age; we were the same size as kids. I just don't get it." Well," said the big Croc, "what have you been eating?" Politicians, same as you," replied the small Croc."Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?" Down the other side of the swamp near the parking lot by the Capitol." Same here. Hmm. How do you catch them?" Well, I crawl up under one of their Lexus cars and wait for one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the shit out of them and eat 'em!" Ah!" says the big Crocodile, "I think I see your problem. You're not getting any real nourishment. You see, by the time you finish shaking the shit out of a politician, there's nothing left but an asshole and a briefcase."The Difference between Grandpa and Grandma Have you ever wondered what the difference is between Grandmothers and Grandfathers? Well, here it is:There was this loving. I looked up into her gently smiling face. God, she was beautiful. I suddenly felt like the luckiest man on Earth, to be here alone with this lovely woman. Straightening, I opened my arms and gathered her in. Her fine curves pressed perfectly against my body. For a while, I just held her, basking in the warmth of her closeness, the fact of her presence. Her head rested on my chest, and I leaned my face into her hair, breathing in the smell of her. ‘Sorry I’m being such a petulant child,’ I finally whispered into the top of her head. ‘It’s okay,’ she said, ‘I know you’ve been looking forward to seeing the ocean. Sorry it’s so crappy out.’ In response, all I could do is offer a heavy sigh. Just then, I felt her head lift up. I looked down into a face adorned with a naughty little grin. ‘You know something I’ve always wanted to do, baby?’ ‘What’s that?’ I answered with my own question. Her hand reached up, slid around my neck and into my hair. ‘I want to make love in the rain.’ I was.
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