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It was a new adventure I was abut to embark on. And I was terrified.More than terrified. I felt like this was a sort of betrayal to Rachel and some of my ideals. I mean, I was ok with that. The family I was part of, or marrying into, or however you want to actually phrase it, had morals and ideals that I could abide. They were one of the bright rays of sunshine in a dark and depressing world, and had been for me for most of my adult life. I loved them all. And I loved Kelly so much, I couldn’t describe it.It felt wrong that I would run away from Rachel at a moment where she needed me the most, and yet decide to marry Kelly, even though she didn’t actually need it. Kelly was not lesser than Rachel, nor more. They were different. I could intellectually comprehend that. I wasn’t having second thoughts really. I just felt very guilty.We all went up to bed, and I lay with Kelly. She wanted to make love. Somehow I couldn’t get myself into it.“I understand, Johnny,” she whispered, “You’re. If we try to sound all heroic and super cop, we are just going to sound guilty of trying to cover up something." I gave him the same advice I had been given during more than one military hearing for one thing or another. The advice was simple, 'Never try to spin a story'."Well good luck, now get moving you are too smart to stand out in the rain," he said rolling up his window then driving away."Asshole," I mumbled under my breath. Then I took off for the last ten minutes of my run. Back in my room I had time to check my email and phone messages before I showered. Since my morning run didn't end at the cafe on the square, I began to think about food.For lunch I decided to treat myself to a salad from the 50 item salad bar at one of the family steak houses in Dobson. Dobson isn't a huge town, but it does sit in a crossroads kind of thing. Lots of trucking and that kind of thing going on there. Of course there is also the dog food businesses. I mention this only to explain why they have.
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