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I began to relax while reading the latest Vain Giant Woman's Clothing catalog, and as you might expect I pickled up the phone (Warning: do not use this instrument when lightning is present or when in the bathtub) and called in an order. The woman was very nice until I ordered a new girdle.There was a pause and then she said: "Sir, new government safety regulations require me to ask you if you are a crossdresser. Recent studies have shown that no woman in her right mind would wear a girdle, and that the only people who purchase them are crossdressers. If, in fact you are a crossdresser, I am required to ask you several other questions so that the proper warning labels can be placed on your garments for your own protection."I stammered a bit and admitted that I was, after all, all they could do is find my PO box."In that case sir, I will need a and notarized statement from a certified math teacher or college math professor that you understand the sizing of women's clothing and the. “Ah, so you’re on the lookout for the one who done burnt that temple down, I see,” Smokey Enna said somberly, “Well, you done found ‘er, and just in time, too. Rats and ashes, I was hopin’ to be on the first riverboat outta ‘ere afore that grump’s goons got ahold of me.”“Well, sorry...?” I ventured, not sure what to say about that.Meanwhile, over to the side, Voss held up a two foot long crowbill and a foot and a half shortsword to Ashryn and asked, “Which one?”“Oh! The one on the left.”Voss grimaced, nodded and tosses away the shortsword.“Well, I guess I owe ye my thanks. Those gents were plannin’ to do something very untoward with me before they gave me the slitty, ye know?”“Uh....”“Well, yer friend found that they ‘ad bent me over me own kitchen table, and it wasn’t to feed me no pancakes, sir. That’s why the nerd was guardin’ the door, ‘e was the only one who could resist the temptation to ‘elp themselves to my feminine wiles.”“Right... Hey, you’re not angry that we’re taking you.
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