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”As soon as I said that, Connie rattled off some real Comanche and jiggled the knife a little. The big man looked at me uncomprehendingly, so I made up a translation.“She said that she was going to cut out your tongue for insulting her husband. Well, that’s better than I hoped because the last man to insult me is a eunuch now. I’m afraid you just made a grave error, amigo, because my woman is the daughter of the Comanche War Chief, Knock-a-Homma, bravest of the Braves. She is my woman because she was too mean for any of the braves of her tribe. I lost a bet with her father and had to take her. Her Indian name is Fawn Who Castrates Grizzlies.”The man’s eyes grew as big as tea saucers when Connie reversed her grip on the knife, dropped her arm, and pressed the point up into the man’s genitals. I had to turn my head to keep from cracking up as the cowboy unsuccessfully tried to control his beer swollen bladder.I made a slashing motion with my hand.“Idi wah kahzuma,” I said in an. His entire premise had been taken from him and he didn't know how to proceed."Look, being able to do tricks doesn't prove anything. Can you prove to us you don't have any current medical problems?" How? You know as well as I do you can't prove a negative. Do you want to spend the next half hour having me perform one silly test after another? Do you want me to walk a straight line? Hop on one foot while holding the other? Take a drug test for you? I'm not going to subject your viewers to such shenanigans, as it wouldn't prove anything and would only make a mockery of the real reporting you're pretending to do."Instead I'd ask, where's your proof? Let's see this single witness to these proceedings. If it's who I suspect it is, I'm sure his lack of credibility will be apparent to anyone hearing him speak. Do you have any proof of a meeting between me and whoever you might be trying to connect me to? Do you even have evidence I've ever made a contribution to some nonexistent temple I.
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