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“He did the mash, he did the monster mashThe monster mash, it was a graveyard smash...”The scene and the song carries on until it reaches the middle of the song and another spotlight comes up on a coffin to the left of the stage. The lid opens and Hal, dressed as a vampire, sits up to shake his fist and sing, with a heavy accent, “Whatever happened to my Transylvania Twist?” He sits back as he closes the coffin while the song goes on and the spotlight on him dies out. It soon reaches its end with“Get down with the monster mashGet down with the monster mash.”The spotlights fade out on the girls still dancing. A moment’s silence is followed by applause. After a short break Greta starts in with, “Igor, what are you doing now?” Two spotlights come up, one on Greta standing there staring at Hal. The second on ‘Igor’ Hal standing at a bench while he uses a hammer to hit something on the table as he’s very vigorous in his hitting, but the audience can’t see what he hits. Greta leans in,. You had been abandoned. I went straight to the heart of the matter. I told you that this was one of the pains of growing older. Things change. We move on. I told you that this would pass, and that you would find someone, and you would not be alone.“Nobody wants me,” you said, “I have no boyfriend, and no likelihood of getting one, and I’ll grow old as a virgin.”“Rubbish,” I said. “I can tell you that if I were one of your fellow students, I couldn’t wait to get into your pants.” You giggled, for the first light moment in the conversation.“Besides,” I said, “Don’t make losing your virginity an end in itself. You know I believe that sex is wonderful, and, as they say in Texas, too much ain’t enough, but the first time is unique, and it should be special enough to remember, and not just a desperate score. You know my views. We’ve talked about it. Most people seem to think that sex, and love, is a limited resource, and you have to be careful not to use it up, whereas the truth is that.
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